Drake and Josh Hey Man Take It Easy

All of the Noodle Incidents just for how ridiculous they are.

In "Pilot", Josh is mistakenly believed to be dating a girl who unfortunately has a large, intimidating boyfriend named Buck. When Buck comes to his house to confront him, Josh is understandably terrified.

Tiffany: Look, I can date whoever I want.
Buck: Yeah? Well you can't date a guy with no HEAD! (To Josh) You're hamburger meat! YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Josh: (Crying) BUT I'M A VEGETARIAN!

• The entire scene where Drake finds Josh dressed like a lady.

Drake: Hey Josh. You wanna go play some basketba-AAAHHHHHH!

Drake: OH MY GOD!

Drake: OH MY GOD!

Josh: I can explain!

Drake: Mom! Josh is dressed like a frea-

"Two Idiots and a Baby" has Josh hanging from the roof after he believes that a baby he's supposed to be babysitting with Drake is stuck on the roof.

(While hanging on for dear life)
Josh: I deserve this, this is all because I forgot to feed my pet turtle Sheldon in kindergarten. He went to heaven, and now my life is bad. (Shouting) You happy, Sheldon?! We're even now!
Walter: (Off-screen) Josh?
Josh: SHELDON?!

"Number One Fan": Josh becomes the chief of the Campfire Kids Scouts. However, Megan locks him in a tent and the kids decide to have a party. After Megan asks Wendy if she's alright, Josh basically goes crazy, asking for someone to let him out.

Josh: Could someone LET ME OUT OF HERE?! I hate camping too! I'm claustrophobic! I would like some s'mores!

• And then everyone leaves for the arcade and pizza, leaving him stuck there.

Crazy Steve. What stands out is the episode where they get stuck in Drake and Josh's house because of a flood, and have a crankable TV. Turns out Crazy Steve likes watching Dora the Explorer.

Crazy Steve: Come on Dora, you're the one with the map, don't ask me!
Crazy Steve: Come on Dora! Andale, andale! Mas rapido! You call yourself an explora!?
Crazy Steve: You will take a break when Dora finds her way to that banana tree. Come on Dora it's right over there!
Crazy Steve: Come on, Dora! It's right behind you!

• And it's not Dora related but:

  Crazy Steve: What happened to the picture!?

When sneaking into a club, Drake devises some fake names: Jefferson Steelflex and Alvin Yakitori.

Drake: They could be real names...
Josh: Yeah, on Planet Crazy-tron!

• From the same episode, we get this:

In "Pool Shark", Drake hustles people out of their money because Josh is such a great pool player, so Josh decides to teach him a lesson by having the two of them play against intimidating thug-like bikers in a bar downtown. After being scared out of his mind Josh reveals that both thugs were simply his old camp counselors and he asked them to scare Drake so he wouldn't scam people anymore. The best part is Drake's reaction to being told this:

Drake: Where did you go to camp?!

Whilst trying to not let their parents find out they have a sheep in the house: "To the garage, we've got smoothie trouble!"

From "Grammy"

• Poor Josh, dude can't catch a break, even when his Grammy visits. He gets hit in the face with a basketball three times, and the reaction after each is hilarious:

Drake: Your face is like a ball magnet.

Josh: (Grammy blocks a shot from Drake and the ball ends up hitting Josh while he's drinking something) My face is a ball magnet!

Josh: Basketball - not my thing.

• And then there's this exchange after Drake beats Grammy:

Josh: What happened? You usually play better than that.

Grammy: I guess I'm getting old.

Josh: (Jokingly) Uh-oh. Maybe I can beat you now.

Grammy: (Laughs sarcastically) Yeah. (Deadpan) I'm not that old.

In "The Bet", Drake and Josh were so engrossed in their addictions (Drake was eating an absurd amount of sweets while Josh was busy playing video games) that they forgot to pick Megan up with the umbrella that their mother gave them, so Megan arrives home wet from the rain. Drake just gives her an umbrella.

• Josh hallucinating he's playing a game while in biology class.

  Josh: (daydreaming) I miss video games...so, so much...
  Princess: JOSH! The evil dragon has locked me in his castle!
  Josh: (rubs his eyes incredulously)
  Princess: Press B to save me, Josh! PRESS BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
  Josh: (hammering his finger on sink) I'M PRESSIN' IT!
  Biology Teacher: Josh? Josh!
  Josh: (still daydreaming) Yes, Princess? (what's going on quickly dawns on him)
  Biology Teacher: Please pay attention.

• The best part is what happens afterwards: The biology teacher shows everyone a real human eye and everyone reacts in disgust. She then scolds them and tells them the human body isn't disgusting, before ordering Drake to put down his book. When he lowers his book to reveal the rash he developed due to not eating sweets, she proceeds to retch in disgust and runs out of the classroom. While still carrying the eyeball.

"COCKA-DOODLE-DOO! THE COW SAYS MOO!"

In "Megan's First Kiss", Drake and Josh decide to spy on Megan to see what she could be up to, which is eventually revealed to be her first date, the duo choose to disguise themselves while at the Premiere as rabbis.

Drake: Okay, all I'm saying is, the next time we need disguises, I'm getting them!
Josh: I told you, the costume shop was closed, the temple was open! And these are good disguises.
Drake: I don't even know what accent to talk with.
Josh: Doesn't matter, just sound foreign.
Helen: Can I help you gentlemen find something?
(Drake and Josh speak in utter gibberish while using ridiculous accents)
Helen: Potato?
Drake: (Irish accent) Come along, Pontiac.
Josh: Yes, let's go observe the mulberry bush!
Drake: (To Helen) PIP PIP DA DOODLY-DOO!
Helen: (Impressed) Pip pip da doodly-doo! (To Crazy Steve) I'm gonna start sayin that.

This little exchange at the beginning of the episode Alien Invasion:

(Drake and Josh are in their room. Drake has the stereo playing really loudly while Josh is trying to do his homework.)
Josh: Hey! Hey!
Drake: (while eating a sandwich) Oh, sorry. Do you want some sandwich?
Josh: No! I'm trying to do my homework! Could you please turn that off?!
(Drake turns off the stereo and picks up his guitar.)
Drake: (singing in blues) Oh cranky Josh, he is getting so cranky, so very cranky... (Josh breaks his pencil out of anger) ...Oh now he's breaking things. Writing to the pencil repairman. He don't know what to do!
Josh: DUDE! Would you stop with the improvisational blues tune?! Don't you have homework to do?
Drake: My homework has already been taken care of.
(Drake gives a note to Josh.)
Josh: (reading note) "Please excuse Drake from his homework. He twisted his liver and is unable to write, read, or bathe. Yours truly: The Doctor."
Drake: (proudly) Wrote it myself!
Josh: Shouldn't "The Doctor" have a name?
Drake: Oh, yeah. Here, gimme that. (takes note from Josh and thinks for a few seconds) Bob! "Bob, the Doctor". (writes it down on note) Yeah?
Josh: (sarcastically) Oh yeah, yeah! That is perfect!
Drake: Cool!

"It's SPHERICAL! SPHERICAL!! "

While it's quite a sad episode, the ping-pong in "Josh is Done" is outright hilarious, especially as the boys play as kung-fu masters.

• "Are you ready to ping the pong?"
• "You have smashed the window of transparency!"
• Josh's over-the-top meltdown when he's locked out of the classroom for being late.
• Drake being given a forced shower in class. With his clothes on.

The Cold Open for "Guitar": While the two are discussing with the audience what it's like to be step-brothers ^note in particular, putting up with how the other sleeps; Josh has a very loud snoring problem, while Drake has a loud mumbling problem, Drake is tuning his guitar in their bedroom while Josh makes a sandwich in the kitchen. When Josh admits that, while he has some issues with Drake, he still likes him, Drake abruptly leaves the bedroom due to being hungry. And so, while Josh steps away from his sandwich to grab some mustard from the fridge, Drake transparently steals his sandwich.

Josh: (sits down with the mustard; to the camera) Anyway, I guess the important thing to remember about being a new step-brother is to be respectful of each other and he took my sandwich, didn't he.

• At the start of episode proper, Drake tries to fix his amp, only for it to spark. This gets forgotten about due to Drake getting distracted by the announcement of a Zero Gravity radio contest... until the end of the intro:

  Drake: (to himself; confidently) I'm gonna win those tickets. I will be the ninth caller.
  Josh: (looks to the right; nervously) Uh... Drake?
  Drake: (to Josh) Yeah?
  Josh: Amp's on fire.
  (Drake shouts in shock, then attempts to beat the fire out with a bathrobe)
  Josh: (to the camera; defeated) So he uses my robe.

• After Drake becomes the winning caller of the Zero Gravity radio contest, he is told he has to answer a question in order to actually win: Naming the eighth planet from the sun. With time running out, Drake turns to Josh for help... causing him to begin belting out a song he remembered from elementary school about the planets at Drake's insistence:

  Josh: (panicked) I saw Mercury, and Venus, I saw the Earth, then Mars, I saw Jupiter, then Saturn, URANUS, AND NEPTUNE-!

  • After Drake wins, he and Josh belt out the song again in celebration. What makes this better is that one of the scenes during the credits expands upon this: the radio DJ has to tell them to hang up.
• After attempting to show Megan how Drake's new electric guitar works results in it catching on fire, Josh proceeds to lock it in its case and then throw the key out the window in order to prevent Drake from finding out. When Drake is upset that Josh "misplaced" the key, a little girl is heard outside telling her mom about the key she found on the sidewalk.

  Josh: (all but leaps out the window) KEEP IT DOWN, WOULD YA?! THERE'S PEOPLE SLEEPING IN HERE!

• When Josh takes a trip to a store called, "Guitar World" to replace Drake's old one:
• A Running Gag throughout the episode concerns Walter (at Audrey's suggestion) trying to bond with Drake, only for Drake to keep blowing him off. This culminates in him approaching Drake, right before he heads out for the Zero Gravity concert, and suggesting they build a treehouse together. And once Drake figures out what's going on, he decides to help him out by pulling him into the kitchen (where Audrey is) and loudly ask for his advice about a fictional girl problem he's "having"... which takes him a moment to realize is what's going on.

The entire beginning of "The Battle of Panthatar", where Drake and Josh talk to "everyone under the age of 5", parodying shows like Dora the Explorer where they wait for the audience to respond. Even funnier is the fact that Drake gets cookies from the "kid viewer", and Josh gets spit in his eye. Even with the modified fourth wall, poor Josh can't catch a break.

Drake: Hello, what's your name?
Josh: Hi! Who are you?
Drake: What is your favorite thing to eat?
Josh: What games do you like to play?
Drake and Josh: Me too!
Drake: Hey, do you like me?
Josh: Do you wanna be my friend?
Drake: Aw, thank you!
Josh: ... What is that supposed to mean?
Drake: You think I'm handsome? What a special thing to say!
Josh: What? Who are you calling a dork? Hey hey hey hey! Don't fetch your mother! Yeah, I'm talking to you!
Drake: A present? For me?
Josh: Alright just put your kid right in front of the TV set because I have a few things to say!
(Drake is handed a plate of chocolate chip cookies)
Drake: A plate of cookies? Ohh, yummy!
Josh: I-I think it's pretty rude to tell a person that he's a-
(Kid spits in Josh's eye)
Josh: Did you just... YOU SPIT IN MY EYE!
Drake: Mmm... these are my favorite!
Josh: (Rubbing his eyes) OH, IT BURNS! AGH! AGH!

Just to show how much the world seems to hate Josh, here's a bit where he's reprimanded for saying something completely nice and inoffensive:

Delivery Man: Package for Josh Nichols. (hands Josh the box)
Josh: (smiling) Thanks. Have a good day!
Delivery Man: Don't tell me what to do. (walks away)
(Josh's smile falls)

Anytime Josh attempts to be dramatic.

Josh: I may have tripped. BUT THAT DOES NOT DIMINISH THE IMPACT OF THIS EXIT!
Josh: (puts on glasses) I am not an emotional man. (pulls off glasses) But I will go to the ends of the earth to prove that my client, Drake Parker, is INNOCENT! (slams hand on table, but smashes glasses while doing so) Oh jeez.

• The entirety of "Student Council" where the above quote comes from. The sheer absurdness of an episode that revolves around Drake being on trial for putting his teacher's car in her classroom.
• Mindy going through Drake's notebook.

  Mindy: Ah, here we see Ms. Hayfer smiling and holding an umbrella but above her, that's not rain falling is it, Drake?
  Drake: (weakly) Not really.
  Mindy: What is it?
  Drake: (still weakly) A piano.
  Mindy: A PIANO!

• The rest of the drawings or as Josh calls them, "doodles", are all hilarious. Highlights include ones of Ms. Hayfer getting eaten by an elephant and getting probed by aliens. Mrs. Hayfer shows him a note thay says, "I hate you!", to which Drake mouths, "I know."
• Josh slowly headdesking after seeing them all.
• In the same episode, after Drake is framed for putting Mrs. Hayfer's car in the middle of the classroom and subsequently suspended, his parents confront him.

  Drake: Look, I promise you guys, I did not put her car in that classroom. (Beat) You don't believe me.
  Walter: Well, you've been known to "act out".
  Drake: Like when?
  Walter: You drove the lawn mower into the living room!
  Drake: By accident!
  Audrey: You filled our swimming pool with lobsters!
  Drake: To make money!
  Walter: Should I mention the stink bomb in my sister's wedding?
  Drake: Oh come on! Even you hate your sister!

  • Not only does Walter indicate that he really does hate his sister, but he also asks moments later how was Drake planning to make money using lobsters.
• At one point, Mindy successfully manages to make even Josh believe that Drake is really guilty, when Josh was defending him. Drake points this out and Josh just remarks that Mindy is really that good!
• The opening where Drake and Josh are giving the viewers advice befitting of their characters. Josh quickly figures out Drake is giving kids terrible advice and delivers this hilarious line.

Josh: "Drake! Stop poisoning the youth of America!"

• The entire scene a man from AAAA tries to remove the car from the classroom while Mrs. Hayfer tries to teach.

"Megan's New Teacher" has Drake struggle to climb up a rope to get into Megan's school to help Megan sabotage Josh's teaching evaluation. He then yells for Megan to come up, only for her to come in through the classroom door seconds later.

• From the same episode, Drake and Josh are arguing over who would win in a slap-fight: Duff or Lohan. They then ask Helen:

  Helen: Oh, no contest, Lohan. [...] Duff can't take a punch!

• And THEN Drake asks Josh this:

  Drake: Okay. Clay Aiken or Frodo?
  (beat)
  Both: Frodo.

"Helicopter". Basically the entire episode. A crowning example, however, is Josh knocking out their pilot (with only Drake and them in the helicopter), managing to wake him, then using the fire extinguisher to blast him out the helicopter with a parachute.

Josh: I EXTINGUISHED OUR PILOT?!

• When the helicopter starts running out of fuel, Josh decides to confess his bad deeds to God. One of his confessions was staring at a random lady's laundry spinning in the dryer at the laundromat for some reason.
  • And when Drake tries to calm him down:

  Drake: We're gonna get out of this!

• When the boys find only one parachute left in the helicopter, Drake opts to go find help, while Josh is left behind on the helicopter that is imminent from crashing.

Josh: (to Drake) What kind of help are you gonna bring back?! A dive team to locate my corpse?!

• At the end of the episode, the pilot shows up at their house to angrily give Walter a bill for the helicopter (after Drake and Josh abandoned it to crash in the ocean). Said bill was for $400,000 , leaving Walter, Audrey and Megan shocked... prompting the note the episode ends on: Drake and Josh narrating their being grounded.

  (Drake and Josh turn look at each other; both then turn to resignedly look straight ahead)
  Drake: (defeated; as Walter) "Boys, you're both grounded."
  Josh: (defeated) "But dad."
  Drake: (defeated; as Walter) "Grounded, two weeks."
  Josh: (defeated) "But it wasn't our fault."
  Drake: (defeated; as Walter) "Upstairs."
  Josh: (defeated) "Yes, sir."
  Drake: (defeated) Night.
  Josh: (defeated) Night.
  (Drake and Josh leave)

• The opening talking head is interrupted by some random dude named Dave and it's quite hysterical.

Anytime Drake shows his Book Dumb.

Everyone who rode the Demonator's reactions to the ride:

Random Guy: It's like a part of me died, and another part of me has just been born.
Random Kid: I don't even care that I puked!

Drake: (to Megan) You rode the Demonator?
Josh: Yep, she rode the Demonator.
Megan: (dazed) Oh, I rode the Demonator.
Josh: So how was it?
Megan: It was like taking a piggyback ride on a wild tiger through the eye of a tornado.

Drake: (both he and Josh are dazed) Oh...
Josh: ...my...
Both: ...God.
Drake: We rode the Demonator.
Josh: The greatest rollercoaster...in the history...of mankind.
Drake: It's better than love.
Josh: It's better than girls.
Drake: (snaps out of daze) Okay, don't get crazy!

• While the boys are waiting, Drake shows that he's not as dumb as he usually looks:

Megan's really bad cover-ups for her suspicious behavior in "Megan's First Kiss."

Megan: (on the phone) Why don't you meet me by the— (sees Drake and Josh) Bye! (hangs up the phone)
Drake: Who were you on the phone with?
Megan: I wasn't on the phone!
Drake: Yeah, you were.
Josh: We just saw you.
Megan: No, you didn't!
Drake: Yeah, we did!
Josh: We were standing right here!
Megan: Coming, Mom!
Drake: Mom's not even home.
Megan: You're not home!

Megan: (after measuring their necks) What are you doing Saturday night?
Drake: We're going to a concert.
Josh: Why?
Drake: (to Josh) Because we bought tickets.
Josh: Not you! (to Megan) Why do you want to know what we're doing Saturday night?
Megan: I don't care what you're doing.
Drake: But you just asked us.
Megan: Or, maybe you just asked yourself. Yeah. Think about that!

• And then, Drake even believes Megan's last cover-up!

  Drake: 'Kay, I wanna know what her deal is!
  Josh: Yeah, she's up to something.
  Drake: First, she hangs up the phone and pretends to not be talking to anybody...
  Josh: Then she measures our necks and asks of our social plans...
  Drake: Wait. She said we asked ourselves about that.
  Josh: Really, you're not a smart boy.

• At the end of the episode, Megan kisses Drake and Josh on the cheek and tells them that she loves them. Shocked, Drake turns to Josh and sees that he's crying... ...Except it was really just because he was kicked in the throat.

In "Blues Brothers", the funniest scene has to go to Josh twitching on television. Highlights include:

• Josh's twitching gradually turning into a meltdown.
• Audrey and Drake's reactions of seeing Josh twitching.
• "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL [Megan] ABOUT THE TWITCH?!"
  • What's funnier is that he goes back to twitching after saying the aforementioned line.
• Josh starts to heat up...so much that he starts to sweat in his suit.

Josh: It seems my antiperspirant...[twitches]...has failed.

• When things start to get out of hand, Walter decides to end the weather report by saying Let Us Never Speak of This Again...with Josh having his twitchy meltdown behind him.

The opening to "I Love Sushi" sees Drake and Josh telling the audience about a revelation they had: things tend to go bad whenever they do things together. They then proceed to rhetorically ask them if they knew about this. Cue the segment becoming heavily derailed as Drake and Josh sheepishly learn that yes, the audience already knew this.

• For whatever reason, the opening sees Drake trying out various hats on a watermelon.
• And when the police question the two boys after their furniture is stolen:

  Sergeant Doty: So let me see if I got this straight. You two supposedly won a home makeover from some TV show you never heard of... and at their request you made sure that no one was home today for six hours?

  Drake: That's pretty much it.

  Josh: So, what do you guys think?

  Megan: We know they're idiots.

• Drake and Josh try to get part-time jobs so they can get some money to buy furniture for the living room after it was robbed... and they get a job in a Sushi place, packing boxes of Sushi. Cue the inevitable homage to I Love Lucy.
  • And yes. It has the same punchline.

    Employer: SPEED IT UP A LITTLE!

  • Even better, there's an extra bit added where Drake and Josh start throwing the sushi at the ceiling. As expected, the sushi eventually loses its stickiness and starts raining down.
• After their horrendous day at the sushi factory, Drake and Josh arrive at home tired and smelling of dead fish... and they take significantly longer than they should to realize that the furniture that was stolen is back in the house.

In "Tree House", the boys build a new treehouse for the neighbor kid, only for them to get trapped inside because Drake didn't put in a door. What follows is one of the most famous scenes of the show:

• Drake and Josh taking turns shouting Megan's name through the window.
• While they are stuck in the treehouse and both are getting hungry, Drake sees a squirrel.
• And then Josh agrees to go with the plan, but demands that Drake let him put the note on the squirrel:

  Josh: I don't trust you with wildlife after what you did to that dolphin.
  Drake: I just wanted a ride.

• Eventually, Drake and Josh opt to instead break down one of the treehouse's walls in order to escape. This results in the treehouse itself falling over instead.

Josh's big speech at the end of "Girl Power" is simultaneously hilarious, heartwarming and awesome:

Josh: You see what you do?! One night, one night, I ask you to help me and you ruin it!
Drake: Josh I-
Josh: (interrupting) I told you how important this was to me. I told you that this was my last chance to impress Mindy's parents! I spent like two days working on this dinner, and 300 bucks on a dumb harpist (turning to address her) who at this point should STOP. PLAYING! (the harpist stops) And I don't even care what you think of Mindy, 'cause she is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I can't date her because you wrecked it! Alright? You wrecked my dinner, you wrecked my $100 ice sculpture, and you wrecked my relationship!
Drake: (beat) You spent $100 on ice?
Josh: (Yells and attacks Drake)

The entire cumin waffle scene. Some highlights include:

Drake: You told me to put cumin in his waffles.
Josh: I said cinnamon. Cinnamon!
Josh: We were flavoring a waffle, not a chimichanga!
Drake: Anyone want a tangelo?
Josh: Mmm, half tangerine, half elo.
Drake: (fake British accent) Ello.

"The Theatre Thug":

• The many, many, MANY times Josh gets tackled onto the ground because of the fact that he's mistaken for a runaway criminal called the "Theatre Thug."
• Megan decides to help Josh disguise himself. Leading to a lot of ridiculous false identities. Special mention goes to her wanting Josh to dress up as a lady called "Little Joshica."
• Before that:

Megan: (To Drake) Move the melon.

(Drake moves Josh out of the table)

Megan: The watermelon!

• When Josh disguises himself as a random hippie, the bystanders immediately recognize him.
  • What's funnier is Josh's hippie accent when he's recognized.

Josh: (in a very bad, 80s hippie accent) Na, na. See? My name is Antoine. How are you?

The Twist Ending to "The Wedding"'s opening segment:

• The brunt of the plot sees Drake and Josh getting stranded in the middle of nowhere in the dead of night on the way to the wedding because Drake borrowed a ramshackle car from complete numbskull Trevor. After having his suit jacket eaten by the engine and several failed attempts to get underway, culminating in Drake locking himself out of the car, Josh gives up... on life.

  (Josh starts looking around at the road, then mouths, "Ah!" with a big smile)
  (Josh picks up a big rock)
  Josh: Here. (passes the rock off to Drake)
  Drake: What's this?
  Josh: Big rock.
  Drake: W-what do you want me to do with it?
  Josh: KILL ME!

• This is followed by Drake refusing to hit Josh over the head with a big rock and dropping it... right on Josh's foot.
  • It gets better: once they manage to flag down a mechanic for help, and inform him how they were locked out, he proceeds to grab a crowbar and smash the driver-side window.
• At one point, Drake decides to try and break in with a coathanger. When Josh expresses surprise that Drake knows how to do this, he rhetorically asks Josh "How do you think I got the squirrels in Mrs. Hayfer's car?" And then he accidentally hits Josh in the eye with the coathanger.
• And then you get to the punchline of the episode: After spending God knows how long trying to fix the car and get to the wedding (eventually shifting to making it to the reception, due to how long they've been at this), the car starts up... and catches on fire. And upon seeing this happen, Drake and Josh just stand in silence... before walking away.

In "Megan's Revenge", Drake and Josh were about to return a camera they borrowed. Josh gets distracted by Megan's pet hamster. Then he decides to take a picture of the hamster... while it's in its glass cage. And because the camera has the flash on, the bright light stuns him. And here are some of the highlights of this scene.

• "Awwww. He's playing dead!"

Josh: I think he really is dead...!

• Josh and then Drake doing CPR on the hamster.

Josh: One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand. BREATHE!

• The icing on the cake has to be when the boys flee the scene after thinking Megan's hamster is really dead, Josh spins the living shit out of it to make it look like the hamster's running on the wheel.

When Drake mispronounces "South America". Josh's face makes the scene even funnier.

Drake and Josh had a bet to see who would be faster- Drake painting a picture of Abraham Lincoln in a bikini or Josh stacking 100 cans of tuna into a pyramid. As Drake puts the finishing touches on his painting, he wonders if he'll beat his brother. Sure enough, Josh is "10 seconds till pyramid". Except for one thing: Drake's upstairs, and he's downstairs. Cue Drake stomping on the floor.

(Josh's pyramid comes down in an avalanche of tuna)
Josh: ..........MY TUNA!

Drake decides to borrow hyper-nerd Clayton's water bottle... so he can spit out his mouthwash. Clayton's reaction sells it, like he's mourning a best friend or even a compatriot.

Clayton: W-w-wwwhhh-w-wh-hhh-WHYYYYYYY???

• Then, later, Clayton shows up at Drake's house.

  Clayton: (still holding the tainted water bottle and pointing to it) Wh-hhh-WHYYYYYYY??? Yuck...

Drake is supposed to write an essay on current affairs. So he hands in over the newspaper of that day with his name written on it. In crayon.

Drake's gym teacher meets his mother at their home.

Audrey: Hi, I am Drake's mom.
(Beat)
Drake's Coach: You're his mother?
Audrey: Yeah. Is something wrong?
Drake's Coach: Well it's just that, Drake told me, when he was four years old, his parents were lost at sea.
Audrey: Lost at sea!?
Drake's Coach: Yes ma'am, I uh, I thought you were dead.
Audrey: Drake told you...
(Drake enters the room)
Drake: Coach Remus!
(Audrey turns and looks at Drake)
Drake: MOM! YOU'RE ALIVE!! (runs and starts hugging her)

• When the gym teacher informs them about him failing Gym for failing to show up once and will have to repeat the class year (Gym is a required criteria):

  Drake: Wait, what? Why didn't you tell me?
  Drake's Coach: You never come to class!

In "Mindy's Back", Josh is psyched about the science fair because Mindy is in a mental institution and she won't be able to beat him this time like every other year. He proceeds to lean out of the window to declare to the entire city that he is going to win this year, only to fall out. Drake asks if his project is on gravity.

Josh not getting the hint a girl wasn't interested in him. Though given Josh's luck it wouldn't be a surprise if she was being honest.

Josh: So, I was thinking, like, maybe you and me could go get a burger or something?
Girl: I'm a vegetarian.
Josh: That's cool, good for the animals, good for the colon. (later) How about some ice cream?
Girl: I'm lactose intolerant.
Josh: I. Don't. Believe. You. (girl leaves) Come on, you gotta eat something!

Drake pranking Josh in "Peruvian Puff Pepper"

Drake: (turns off the radio and starts speaking in a surprisingly good imitation of the narrator's voice) But first you must smell your tomato.
Josh: Smell my tomato?
Drake: Inhale the aroma by pressing it to your nose with GREAT FORCE.
(Josh smashes the tomato into his nose)

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Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/DrakeAndJosh

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